Journey to myself

I woke up at my father‘s place well rested, after many hours of sleep. The nights before had been quite short and I urgently needed to catch up on sleep. My father knocked on my door, to wake me and asked me, if I wanted to go walking with him. I got dressed and we went to the park, during the walk, he told me stories about the past, some of the stories made me pensive and quiet. Thinking about my mum and my sisters and all the hardship we went through, made me sad. Until today I had managed to stay present, to leave the past in the past and enjoy and embrace each other’s company. Today however sadness overwhelmed me. I couldn’t laugh about his jokes. I thought about my mum and all the difficulties she went through, as a single mum with three kids. At the breakfast table, I told him, how arduous life had been and how difficult it was to grow up, seeing my mum struggling. It was difficult for him to see me like this and to listen to my words. He apologised and said that he is sad for how things went and that he cannot turn back time. He lied down to rest after breakfast, while doing the dishes tears were running down my face.

Later on we went for a drive, the sad mood however was shaping the day. We bought ingredients to make pizza for dinner and stopped to have a tahini dessert and some cay, in the hope it would cheer us up. Back at home I was withdrawing into my room, where I practiced yoga, while listening to some relaxing music. Eventually I felt better and returned to the kitchen, where my father was preparing pizza. We said to have a chat and a big cry in the coming days.

After dinner I recorded a podcast with Bella, an Aussie girl living in France. I enjoyed talking about my journey, thinking about the endless adventures, challenges, laughs and cries I experienced. What wonderful 4,5months it has been. I will always remember these special months, the people I met on the way, the landscapes and my personal growth. I am incredibly grateful for this journey and everything that came with it. It brings me joy to know, I could inspire people with this journey and I also hope it will bring my family closer together. One important lesson to learn on a journey like this is: Most people are good. Tesekkürler universe!

So long – görüsürüz from Kayseri!