Journey to myself

I had decided to give myself a break from journaling. After my father and me returned from Mersin, I spent most of the time, doing some life admin. My visa for Türkiye would expire soon and I needed to think ahead. The weather however, just when I wanted to jump back on the bike, told me to stay. Snow and threatening temperatures were predicted. With the last three weeks being sunny and the days getting warmer and warmer, I was hoping winter would be over. Now however, not only my father was holding me back, but also the weather. I was aware, that as soon as I will leave Kayseri, mountains would await me, and with that more snow and even cooler temperatures. Not to forget that I am, after not having cycled for four weeks, completely out of shape. Hence the thought, of facing mountains in snowy and bitter cold conditions, sounded like torture to me. Especially after having had all the comforts of my dad‘s home: a bed, a hot shower, my father who cooks for me and also heating.

Talking to other bikepackers, the question, why I am not taking the bus, over the mountains, arose. Good question, why am I not taking the bus? Being very determined, taking a bus on this journey, is usually out of question for me. With my visa expiring soon and the treacherous conditions, I would phase on my way to Gaziantep, I had to start taking it into consideration.

Feeling restless I was aware, I had to leave. Being used, to a ridiculous amount of exercise per day, I found no way here, to release my energy. As beautiful the time with my father was, I knew: I had to move on, move on and carry on with my own life. I missed the wind in my hair, I missed serenity, the adventure and also the uncertainty of each day – freedom. The time with my father was precious and on one hand I did not know, how to leave him and his family behind, I just knew – I had to.

My father, Babaanne and me started our day as usual, with a big delicious Turkish breakfast. Afterwards my father and me were wandering through the streets of the town, to find farewell gifts for my relatives.

Back at home I withdrew into my room. I needed to be alone with my thoughts, I needed to plan ahead. With the situation being unstable in Iran, I was uncertain, if it was a good time to cross the country, hence I was thinking about alternative routes.

My father had a mouthwatering broccoli and cauliflower dish for dinner. After dinner the extended family, came over for some cay and nuts. It was also a good opportunity to show my gratitude towards the family, thank them, for welcoming me with open arms and pass them their presents.

I had accepted, that leaving by bus might be the only sensible choice, right now. Hence the idea leaving to Gaziantep on Monday, by bus grew more certain. Today however I got the news, from my fellow bikepacking friend, Marco, that Gaziantep, was covered in a thick layer of snow and that the streets are unrideable. Once again I needed to rethink my plans. Should I stay here until the cold had past? Should I fly to the Middle East? Should I start cycling and hope for the best? My mind was racing, when I was lying in bed.

So long – görüsürüz from Kayseri!