Day 145, 17/01/2023 Not everything is red roses

I woke up at my father‘s place well rested, after many hours of sleep. The nights before had been quite short and I urgently needed to catch up on sleep. My father knocked on my door, to wake me and asked me, if I wanted to go walking with him. I got dressed and we went to the park, during the walk, he told me stories about the past, some of the stories made me pensive and quiet. Thinking about my mum and my sisters and all the hardship we went through, made me sad. Until today I had managed to stay present, to leave the past in the past and enjoy and embrace each other’s company. Today however sadness overwhelmed me. I couldn’t laugh about his jokes. I thought about my mum and all the difficulties she went through, as a single mum with three kids. At the breakfast table, I told him, how arduous life had been and how difficult it was to grow up, seeing my mum struggling. It was difficult for him to see me like this and to listen to my words. He apologised and said that he is sad for how things went and that he cannot turn back time. He lied down to rest after breakfast, while doing the dishes tears were running down my face.

Later on we went for a drive, the sad mood however was shaping the day. We bought ingredients to make pizza for dinner and stopped to have a tahini dessert and some cay, in the hope it would cheer us up. Back at home I was withdrawing into my room, where I practiced yoga, while listening to some relaxing music. Eventually I felt better and returned to the kitchen, where my father was preparing pizza. We said to have a chat and a big cry in the coming days.

After dinner I recorded a podcast with Bella, an Aussie girl living in France. I enjoyed talking about my journey, thinking about the endless adventures, challenges, laughs and cries I experienced. What wonderful 4,5months it has been. I will always remember these special months, the people I met on the way, the landscapes and my personal growth. I am incredibly grateful for this journey and everything that came with it. It brings me joy to know, I could inspire people with this journey and I also hope it will bring my family closer together. One important lesson to learn on a journey like this is: Most people are good. Tesekkürler universe!

So long – görüsürüz from Kayseri!

6 responses to “Day 145, 17/01/2023 Not everything is red roses”

  1. Yeah Madeline! Beautifully described as always. I send love to you for having travelled so far for this encounter and for now starting to feel into some of the hardships that lie in your past as well. Try to stay open in your heart – if you can – to yourself in the first place. Don’t forget that you (most likely) wouldn’t have taken this adventurous trip if you had had an ordinary family background🥲😉🙃🤩😍. Thank you universe – for every bit of the adventure❤️🙏🏼❤️ and yes – not everything is red roses🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Karen! ❤️🇹🇷🚲


  2. The food as usual looks delicious and the tahini desert reminds me of knafeh. Madelaine, your remarkable inner and outer strength will continue to bring great adventures. Cheers XX V

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Vera, the food is so delicious! Xo ❤️🇹🇷🚲


  3. Cheers from istanbul. I hope u ll have better days with your father. I know u re upset to him cuz of the mistakes he did in the past. My dad had done some mistakes too not like yours though but i feel your anger and sadness deeply . Anyways last year in march i lost my dad . I can only suggest u one thing u dont have to forget or forgive everything he had made in the past but at least u can let ur heart to collect some good memories to remmeber in the future. Life is really short and time is precious so enjoy the time with your dad as much as u still can have time with him

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mehmet, thank you so much for your advice! I am sorry about you loss! I hope you have peace. Greetings from Kayseri 🇹🇷🚲


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